my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
