guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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