I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
