i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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