so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you had me at cake vodka
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
