just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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