butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i would punch a child for taco bell
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
