Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I looked at my own cervix.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
