it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
