The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
