Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
