Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
a search helicopter?!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
