erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i now understand why vodka
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
