Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
