sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
