Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
