it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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