My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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