elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
