i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
