Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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