She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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