Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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