Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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