I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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