Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
