Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
