While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
