I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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