So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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