Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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