no you cant smoke seaweed
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
