I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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