So drunk its hurt
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
