mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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