dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
