I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
