He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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