just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
