his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
