I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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