Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
