I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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