so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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