apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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