Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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