Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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