Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
In America we eat man semen.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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