Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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