And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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