Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
