Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
