dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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