he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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