who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
