it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
