I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize