Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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