well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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