Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Farmville is her only friend.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
