I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
